I think I’m probably an entrepreneur at heart, because I get really good ideas all the time about what would make the business I work at far better. I work at an Italian Restaurant and I think if we adopted some of my brilliant schemes, we would easily become one of the most popular places to eat in the entire state of Ohio–in fact, I’d almost guarantee it. My ideas are so incredibly good, that I almost hesitate to mention them here. What if one of the rival restaurants got a hold of these thoughts? What if someone who can actually recognize a good idea when they see one reads this and actually has the means to implement it?

I suppose I’ll just have to trust in the inherrent goodness of humanity.

Right. Anyway, the brilliant schemes: In the bar at my restaurant are some green skewers for fruit that look like swords. Many times my buckaneering mind has been captivated by these miniature sabers, and one day whilst slashing through the air in a free moment, I had an epiphany–what if we had trained mice in a large cage dressed up as pirates? The mice of the high seas would be well-armed with the green swords and would swashbuckle famously to the endless delight of all fortunate observers.

Our bar is pretty boring. It looks nice and is filled with expensive alcohol, but it doesn’t really have any attractions. The mice would add a lot, but some people are afraid of mice, and who knows, the mice might need to sleep or take vacations some times, so we would need something else to entertain the masses and satiate that thirst for laughter and happiness. I was probably eating mints or something one day in the bar when I noticed the bar table in a new way. We have regular sit down tables in the bar area, but we also have this long narrow bar table that people sit at and such. Anyhow, it’s fairly long and is L shaped. The idea is that we could renovate the table and turn it into an air-hockey bar table. If customers wanted to, they need merely flip a switch to turn on the air, and then they could play air-hockey with their bottle caps. It would make passing dishes far easier too. And in fact, since the table is L shaped, we could have two such tables for double the fun. Brilliant, ehh? I told you. Anyway, if you’re at all interested in implementing these incredible ideas at your establishment, contact me immediately and we can hammer out a deal regarding the the intellectual copyright or whatever…